


Party Favors

by NeonNitrogen



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Aju Nice AU, And By That I Mean, Basically Every Other Scene Contains A Copious Amount Of Alcohol Consumption, Cussing, Depression mention, Fluff, Jihoon Is Really Bad At His Own Feelings And It's Frustrating For Everyone Involved (Even You), M/M, Minor Angst, Minor WonHui - Freeform, Office Worker AU, Two Au's In One WOW, a lot of alcohol consumption, lots of emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 17:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11109114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonNitrogen/pseuds/NeonNitrogen
Summary: Flower petals and confetti rain down here more often than actual rain.Jihoon can’t remember a day when he didn’t either witness or walk past a pile of party favors, left behind like a deserted crime scene, leaving traces of some stranger's story that Jihoon will never ponder again after the first minute of doing so.In this reality, everyone’s body has evolved and adapted to show love in a form beyond what would seem normal. Basically a few steps farther down the evolutionary chain than the casual blush or goosebumps.It is a reality where someone can literally see themselves explode upon realizing that they were in love.(Realizing is the key word here)A SoonHoon inspired by the heart explosions in the Aju Nice MV!





	Party Favors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheLightinmySeoul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLightinmySeoul/gifts).



> So, I started writing this bullshit two days after the Aju Nice MV released, so HAPPY ONE YEAR ANNIVARSY TO THIS CALLOSAL MESS. (If any of you read any of my other stuff, please understand this as an example to JUST HOW SLOW OF A WRITER I AM IM SO SORRY.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading! 
> 
> Huge shout out to [EgoStorm](http://archiveofourown.org/users/EgoStorm/pseuds/EgoStorm) for Betaing this,,, It was a huge mess as would have stayed as one without her help! <3 
> 
> Also I wanted to gift this to [TheLightinmySeoul](http://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLightinmySeoul/pseuds/TheLightinmySeoul)! She was one of my first Fanfic writer friends and the main reason as to why this is as SoonHoon in the first place! I hope it's gift worthy. :,)
> 
> (Also this thing is monstrous when compared to my usual one shot length of 5k words,,,)

Flower petals and confetti rain down here more often than actual rain.

Jihoon can’t remember a day when he didn’t either witness or walk past a pile of party favors, left behind like a deserted crime scene, leaving traces of some stranger's story that Jihoon will never ponder again after the first minute of doing so.

In this reality, everyone’s body has evolved and adapted to show love in a form beyond what would seem normal. Basically a few steps farther down the evolutionary chain than the casual blush or goosebumps.

It is a reality where someone can literally see themselves explode upon realizing that they were in love.

If it was small and floated away easily into the wind, it could grow in your heart. Paper confetti, flower petals, cotton stuffing—hell, even packing popcorn wasn’t exempt from your body growing it—no matter how unromantic those sort of items were.

The feelings you feel for someone grow and grow before literally bursting the second you come to realize just what the heavy weight in your chest cavity must signify.

Those lucky (or unlucky) few who had fallen in love on more than one occasion tell of how it was made up of a different substance for each instance. Scientists speculate that it’s different each time since the love you grow for that person comes with unique experiences, thus causing your heart to burst with different small lightweight objects every time.

Today is no different for Jihoon as he sidesteps a pile of brightly colored paper scraps on his way to work, only pausing at his local coffee stop to get a quick pick me up.

As he waits in line, he overhears a quiet but heartfelt conversation going on behind him, nothing too out of the ordinary.

“I think I’m—”, a loud pop erupts that resounds in the small shop, hushing all patrons, “in love with you.”

And suddenly Jihoon has to make an unplanned trip to the bathroom so he can pick out all the white fluff that has clung to his hair.

 

\---♡---

 

“There’s something in your hair,” muses Soonyoung in lieu of a proper greeting, his fingers skillfully combing through dark strands, making quick work of the remaining fluff that must have gone unnoticed by Jihoon.

“Thanks,” breathes out Jihoon. “Who knew that waiting in line at a coffee shop could be considered romantic enough that you realize you’re in love?”

“Don’t you think it’s strange?” asks Soonyoung, apparently not in the mood to humor Jihoon’s dry sense of humor so early in the morning.

“What? Coffee shop romance? Of course I do,” said Jihoon as he leans back in his office chair, causing it to creak something ugly.

“Not that,” chides Soonyoung as he flicks Jihoon’s shoulder in reprimand, “I remember reading that it used to not be like this. That realizing that you’re in love was apparently so hard that even evolution decided to interfere and make it impossible for you to convince yourself that what you’re feeling isn’t love.”

Soonyoung has a wistful sort of look in his eyes. So it’s one of those mornings.

“Evolution must not have thought through this mutation very well. Either that or it underestimated the ignorance of the human mind,” replies Jihoon, because apparently, he’s willing to humor Soonyoung this morning, “It doesn’t go off until the person realizes that they are actually in love.”

“You surprisingly know a lot about this stuff. I wouldn’t have taken you as a closet expert.” Soonyoung leans heavily onto Jihoon’s cubicle wall, a teasing smirk directed at him.

“What do you mean? You’ve given much more viable info in this conversation then I have.” He isn’t completely sure why, but Jihoon felt slight embarrassment at the idea of Soonyoung thinking he had spent time researching the subject.

“Yeah, but the amount was much more than I expected.” Soonyoung’s smirk softens to the point of resembling a smile.

“So you basically thought it was zero?” And now Jihoon doesn’t know if he wants Soonyoung to think he’s read up on the topic or not. There’s no winning here.

Soonyoung hums lightly in agreement, hiding his smile behind the rim of his coffee mug.

“Well, it’s not like I ditched out on Sex Ed back when I was in school,” mumbles out Jihoon, leaning forward so he can jostle his computer mouse, waking up his computer monitor.

There is a small lull in the conversation and usually, at times like this, Soonyoung takes his leave. He, too, has work responsibilities, plus it isn’t like they won’t get to talk later over drinks with a few other co-workers, something that happens often when the work day rolls to an end.

But apparently, Soonyoung isn’t done with this line of conversation yet.

“Have you experienced it?” blurts out Soonyoung. Jihoon casts Soonyoung a sidelong glance, but all he sees is an innocent smile and round cheeks.

“No, I haven’t,” answers Jihoon simply, clicking open his web browser. “What about you?”

“Once, back when I was younger-” Soonyoung paused, giving Jihoon just enough time to really get curious, “about a month after I got my first dog.”

“Your dog?” asks Jihoon, amused.

“Hey now! It’s affectionate love that it works with, not exclusively romantic love,” huffs Soonyoung, crossing his arms as well as he could without spilling his coffee. “Scientist say that the only reason it doesn’t work with blood relatives is that we don’t need such a signifier for you to know you love them.”

“Once again, Mother Nature trying to give us something but going amiss somewhere,” muses Jihoon with a small shake of his head, “Don’t you think it’s strange that it works with more than just romantic love? I feel like it would cause misunderstandings. Like, if I didn’t know better, I could think you’re into beastiality.” A few more clicks and Jihoon now has his work email open, which is surprisingly full given the fact that the work day has just started.

Another reprimand comes from Soonyoung, but this time in the form of a shove to Jihoon’s shoulder.

Jihoon looks back to Soonyoung just in time to catch his nonchalant shrug.

“Well, I can only imagine how difficult it would be for Mother Nature to distinguish between affectionate love and romantic love since those kinds of loves give off the same chemicals in the brain. So I really don’t blame it since, apparently, we’re the ones who are too dumb and need something like this in the first place.”

Jihoon can’t help but send Soonyoung a dull look. Soonyoung is enjoying this conversation way too much in Jihoon’s eyes. “Wow, and you tried to give me shit about knowing a little bit about love? You’re basically an expert.” Jihoon was trying to tease Soonyoung, but sometimes his sense of humor could be poorly interpreted.

Luckily, Soonyoung knows him well enough and Jihoon’s small fear of Soonyoung misunderstanding his joke passes. Instead, Soonyoung opens his messenger bag and pulls out something, effectively leaving Jihoon’s bad attempt at humor behind.

Soonyoung then leans over and places the object onto Jihoon’s desk, right next to the monitor. Now that it has been settled, Jihoon can clearly make out that it was a wooden box.

“What’s this?” asks Jihoon, reaching over to immediately retrieve it only seconds after it's placed. The box wasn’t too big, the perfect size for Jihoon to hold in the palm of his hand. Soonyoung had probably picked it up from some craft store he had walked past one day. It didn’t necessarily look cheap though, its hinges a sturdy brass and the wood nicely sanded to a smooth finish.

Jihoon would have opened it if there hadn’t been a lock in the way. It’s tiny, nothing too fancy, silver shining brightly in the artificial light of the office. Even though he already knows it won’t work, Jihoon tries to pull the lid open, confirming that the lock did its job well enough.

“A gift,” begins Soonyoung, “but I can’t fully give it to you yet. I’ll give you the key to open it in due time,” explains Soonyoung cryptically, smile never wavering from his voice.

If Jihoon didn’t know any better, he would consider this a romantic type of gift. Something you give a significant other as you try and be coy. But Jihoon has practically zero experience with the topic of romance and has a knack for ruining such moods. Which explains the next words that come out of his mouth.

“I could just smash this open if I really wanted to,” explains Jihoon as he rotates the box in his hands. It’s light and doesn’t feel like there is actually anything inside it.

“Yeah, but where’s the fun in that?” questions back Soonyoung, plucking the box out of Jihoon’s hands and setting it back in its newly designated spot.

Jihoon knows that Soonyoung sometimes does actions or makes choices that are considered strange to the general public, but this one landed itself on the top of the ‘Strange Acts Committed By Soonyoung’ list.

“I’ll see you at the bar later, then?” concluded Soonyoung, leaving with a bright grin and an energetic wave after Jihoon's confirming nod.

As Jihoon watches Soonyoung leave, Jihoon feels something tickle his lungs, giving him a much-unwanted coughing fit.

He reaches out for the nearest liquid, his coffee from earlier, and downs it in hopes of dislodging whatever had caused the sensation in the first place.

After his throat is calm and back to working order, Jihoon can feel something has settled in the back of his throat. Grimacing, he fishes out a bright piece of green confetti.

Jihoon silently curses the man from the coffee shop for allowing his confetti to somehow make its way into his drink, almost causing him to choke.

That is the only logical place Jihoon can think of that the confetti would have come from.

 

\---♡---

 

The screen to Jihoon’s computer fades to black, signifying the end of his work day. A quick glance around him shows that he’s one of the last ones still on his floor, the remaining few workers plucking away on their keyboards.

It isn’t really a rare thing for Jihoon to stay past their designated release time, finding himself lost in the work and it’s usually just easier to continue his flow instead of interrupting it when the designated off-time rolls around.

As Jihoon stands from his chair, he fishes around in his back pocket for his phone. He had felt it vibrate with a few messages not too long ago but had ignored it till now.

**You coming to the bar tonight?**

 

**Chan just started to take shots, you really ought to see this.**

 

**....You know that work will still be there in the morning, right?**

 

Jihoon sighs at the string of messages that causes him to have to flick his thumb a few times just so he can finally get to the bottom of the page, only skimming the rest of the messages that Soonyoung had left him.

If there was one thing Soonyoung was, it was tenacious.

“What are you smiling about?”

The sudden voice startles Jihoon, almost causing him to drop his phone out of fright. He whips his head up to see that Junhui had at some point appeared behind him without Jihoon noticing.

“Oh my god, Junhui, don’t scare me like that,” reprimands Jihoon, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly, much too worn out from the day to deal with Junhui and his naturally sly presence.

Junhui only shrugs, lifting his arm off the side of Jihoon’s cubicle that he'd been leaning against before adjusting the jacket that he has slung over his shoulder.

“Not my fault you didn’t hear me come up,” said Junhui, apparently waiting for Jihoon to finish packing up for the night.

Jihoon takes his cue and starts to gather his things a little faster than he would have if he didn’t have company waiting on him.

“You plan on going to the bar tonight?” asks Jihoon conversationally, trying to fill the silence between the two as they make their way to the building’s elevators.

“Nah, my boy’s waiting for me at home,” replies Junhui easily as he pushes the button, calling the elevator.

“What was his name again? Won- something?”

“Wonwoo. But you were close.” The doors are now sliding open, allowing the pair to step on before hitting the ground floor. “Your boy waiting at the bar?”

Jihoon’s eyes snap up to Junhui, confusion prominent on his face.

Junhui reads what the look means. “You and Soonyoung aren’t dating?” his face just as puzzled as Jihoon can see his own is in the mirrored surface of the door. His reflection splits as the doors open, prompting them to exit.

“Soonyoung and I aren’t dating,” clarifies Jihoon. But for some odd reason, he can feel the tips of his ears warming up at the misunderstanding.

“Oh really? I could have sworn you guys gave off that ‘I can’t be away from you even for a minute’ vibe.”

“What do you mean by that?” They were just outside the company doors now, but Jihoon isn’t ready to part ways yet. He needs Junhui to cite his sources and provide multiple examples as to why he had come to this conclusion. He’s not consciously sure as to why, but he suddenly really needs to know where Junhui had gotten the idea from.

Junhui shrugs, stalling his steps too so that they can finish their conversation.

“It’s very honeymoon-like to have him come greet you every day in the mornings and you go see him at the bar after work every day.”

Jihoon gulps. Not just from the idea of dating Soonyoung, but from the realization that Junhui’s misunderstanding isn’t something that Jihoon could pass off as unreasonable. He probably would have thought the same about any of his other co-workers if he had seen that behavior between them.

“Ahh, I see,” responds Jihoon, his words leaving a feeling of unfinished business to the conversation. He just doesn’t know what else to say and he doesn’t want to deny it again. Because in all honesty, the idea of dating Soonyoung doesn’t disgust him. He was just caught off guard since he’s never even given the idea of dating Soonyoung any serious thought.

Junhui nods at that, his gaze showing that he understands. Understands just what though?

“Have a nice night, Jihoon,” says Junhui in departing.

“You too.” says Jihoon almost as an afterthought before heading in the direction of his and Soonyoung’s usual bar.

 

\---♡---

 

Soonyoung slings his arm over Jihoon’s neck the second Jihoon slips into their usual booth along the wall. It is a small, slightly out-of-the-way table with a single booth seat and two chairs on the other side of the table, but Jihoon and Soonyoung always take up residence next to each other, more comfortable on the cushions and within arms reach.

Soonyoung pulls him in, messing a bit with Jihoon’s hair before ultimately letting the boy go, knowing that Jihoon usually shields away from such affections most of the time.

Jihoon can’t help but smile a bit at the glow that has settled on Soonyoung’s cheeks. That paired with his constantly wandering hands was enough to indicate just how long Soonyoung’s been here.

“Just how much have you had?” asks Jihoon before reaching over to grab the bottle of soju off the table, ready to try and catch up with what little time he has left of the night.

Soonyoung swats his hand away before he can make it and puts his other hand up to Jihoon, stopping him from making any more actions towards pouring his drink himself.

“Allow me,” says Soonyoung graciously. Jihoon can’t help the laugh that comes out as he watches Soonyoung’s hands shake, the sort of clumsy that only intoxication can really bring about. He lets him forge on through; Jihoon won’t allow himself to take something from a man who bore that intense of an expression. Soonyoung’s tongue is even out in concentration.

After Jihoon lets his first shot of the night slip down his throat, he looks around almost theatrically. “So where is Chan? Or the others that I was promised?”

“They _were_ here,” starts Soonyoung, leaning in close to poke an accusing finger at Jihoon’s chest, “but they all left since it’s getting late.”

“.... It’s not that late,” said Jihoon, in his defense.

The two then proceed to get on with the night, Jihoon trying to steal a few more shots than Soonyoung in hopes that he can catch up. But somehow Soonyoung has created a system and almost always refuses to let Jihoon take a shot without Soonyoung. It’s doing a horrible job at letting Jihoon get some ground on Soonyoung, but doing an awfully good job of getting Soonyoung sloshed.

A few more soju bottles are emptied between the pair, and Jihoon can finally feel the flush of alcohol on his cheeks. The two joke and cheer, rowdiness increasing as the alcohol disappears between the two.

But it doesn’t take too long for the time of night to settle into the two boys. As the customers start to trickle out, so does their energy. It’s becoming that dangerous time of night where emotions shifted into a new spectrum, casting colors of wistfulness and nostalgia over the boys.

“I lied to you earlier, about having only loved my puppy,” comes Soonyoung’s low voice, his cheek resting on the cool table surface in front of him.

Jihoon hums a bit, prompting Soonyoung to continue.

“My second time wasn’t all too long ago, actually,” says Soonyoung, a small amount of reminiscing in his gaze. But for some reason, he’s looking directly at Jihoon, and Jihoon isn’t really sure what to do with the look, so instead, he reaches out and pours a new shot before taking it quickly.

He had hoped it would dull out the weird pang of feelings he had in his stomach from the news, but all it really does was make Jihoon’s eyelids heavier and his tongue looser.

“So why did you lie?” asks Jihoon, curiosity getting the better of him.

Soonyoung shrugs, his head now lolled to the side and eyes closed. “I was worried about what you would think.”

“Wha—?” starts Jihoon before he is cut off by Soonyoung’s arm flashing forward in a display of speed Jihoon wouldn't have thought the boy still capable of, snatching the bottle of soju off the table and taking a gulp straight out of the bottle.

“Do you remember back when you first joined the company?”

It’s a sudden topic shift, Jihoon can see that even with the booze in his system and his usual ignorance to social cues still intact. But he lets it happen since it’s Soonyoung and Jihoon has a hard time not giving the boy whatever he wants, especially when he’s wearing anything other than his usual smile in hopes that it would bring it back.

“Yeah, of course I do. It was only about a year and a half ago. Don’t tell me that _you_ forgot,” remarks Jihoon, a small amount of mirth playing into his words.

A waitress was making her way by just then, and Jihoon flags her down so he could order a quick drink of his own since the soju hasn’t made its way back onto the table and now seems to be glued to the palm of Soonyoung’s hand.

“You weren’t as much of a friendly person back then. I basically had to wrestle the friendship out of you at first,” reminisces Soonyoung, his smile a little more spiteful than what Jihoon feels is warranted.

The waitress returns with Jihoon’s drink and he downs half of the amber colored beer in one go.

“I’m still not a friendly person,” mutters out Jihoon, letting some of his sadness seep into his words.

Jihoon’s mind can’t help but berate himself. Why did he have to go and say something like that? It might have been the shitty lighting in the bar, or the look that Soonyoung was giving him, or he can really throw the blame onto the alcohol, since that’s an easy scapegoat if he’s really feeling desperate. But there is something in the air that was causing some old fears and thoughts to resurface, and all Jihoon knows is that he really regrets what he had just said.

“Sure you are! Would an unfriendly person let me do _this_?” At that, Jihoon feels an arm wrap around his waist from behind, easily pulling in Jihoon’s form to squeeze against Soonyoung. The second Jihoon feels trapped, he starts to wiggle as much as one was capable of doing in the tight space of the booth and with a drink clasped in their hand. Which ultimately means he can’t wiggle very much.

After the small fit between the pair and a pointed look from the waitress, Soonyoung lets Jihoon go with a puff of a laugh, hand trailing along Jihoon’s skin as it retreats only to land familiarity onto Jihoon’s thigh, the heat of Soonyoung’s palm searing through the fabric of his work pants.

He looks down at it almost desperately, unsure if it would be uncharacteristic of him to push Soonyoung’s hand off or not. Jihoon racks his brain for any past instances where Soonyoung had gotten physical like this and if he had pushed Soonyoung off or had left the boy. But Jihoon’s brain had checked out sometime between the last bit of soju and his new beer, so nothing comes to mind.

Jihoon purses his lips, unsure as to why he’s suddenly so hyper aware of all the points of contact between him and Soonyoung. This kind of familiarity never bothered or caught his attention in such a way before, and the only explanation Jihoon’s foggy mind can come up with at the moment is that Junhui had planted some seeds that Jihoon isn’t readily willing to cultivate.

So instead, he lets Soonyoung keep some of his weight supported on his leg, deciding in the end that Soonyoung is probably too drunk for him to slap it away. He doesn’t want to be responsible if Soonyoung somehow lost his balance and ended up on the floor just because Jihoon couldn’t let his friend touch his thigh.

“But it was a good thing, me having to fight to be your friend when you first got hired. If not, we probably wouldn’t be as close as we are now,” said Soonyoung, tipping his nearly empty bottle of soju from side to side.

The heat’s still as searing, and Jihoon swears that he felt Soonyoung’s fingers tighten sometime in the middle of his last sentence. What is normal conversation when Soonyoung had his hand on his thigh, half of his weight pressed onto the Jihoon, and his eyes twinkling with memories of the past? So Jihoon tries to act as normal as he remembers how to be and swirls the dark liquid around his bottle, creating a mini vortex. “ _Are_ we close?”

Fuck all that anyone might consider holy. Jihoon pinches himself as discreetly as possible, a small punishment from the part of his brain that can still make smart decisions. Like not asking his closest friend if they were even close, what the fuck was he thinking?

A sharp shove to his shoulder makes Jihoon lurch forward, causing a small amount of his drink to spill onto the table. Jihoon pouts a bit at the pain and lost alcohol, but at least he no longer has to worry about the press of Soonyoung’s hand on his thigh.

Jihoon sends Soonyoung an incredulous look, which is being mirrored right back at him.

“ _Of course_ we are! Look at us right now.” Soonyoung then motions to the whole expanse of the bar with his own drink, ending at Jihoon who has yet to let his skeptical gaze drop. “We come here almost every day. How could you think we _aren’t_ close?”

Some of Soonyoung’s earlier enthusiasm slips away when Jihoon fails to reply right away.

“Wait, are you being serious? Have I really been the only one between us who thought we were best friends?” And if alcohol hadn’t been in the equation, Soonyoung might have been able to stifle the hurt that poured out into his words when he asks this.

Jihoon is at a loss. His blood runs warm in his body, fueled by the alcohol he had ingested the whole night and the imprint of Soonyoung’s hand on his thigh that he just _can’t_ get out of his mind _god damn it._ Jihoon looks at Soonyoung and realizes that he _hates_ that look on him. Soonyoung deserves to be happy and having Jihoon be the cause of such a look tears at his heart.

But Jihoon still can’t think of a proper thing to say. He wants the next words out of his mouth to be something that would completely dispel Soonyoung’s worries, unlike all the bullshit he has been spouting up to this moment. But Jihoon can’t think of a single thing that he can say that wouldn't either sound completely fake or like a lie. Because Jihoon realizes, it _is_ news to Jihoon that Soonyoung considers him his best friend.

“No— That’s not—,” Jihoon pauses to take a breath, “What I’m trying to say is.”

But what _is_ he trying to say? That Soonyoung coming to see him every morning is the only reason why he starts off his work days in a good mood? That when Soonyoung randomly messages him in the middle of the night to tell him about the spider he had to single-handedly fight off, he can’t help but smile and know exactly what the boy had probably been doing even through his stream of messy texts that were full on capslock and contained too many spelling errors?

Or is he trying to say that he’s finally taking notice that all of these things about Soonyoung that make Jihoon smile can be interpreted as something that was more than just friendship thanks to Wei Fucking Junhui putting the idea in his head? And that he has had literally no time to digest the accusations before coming to meet and booze up and talk to said boy in question?

All he really knows was that he honestly _didn't_ want to push Soonyoung’s hand away and only had the thought to do so because it was a knee-jerk response to think that he should have pushed him away. All he knows was that he’s sitting in his and Soonyoung’s bar, a really drunk Soonyoung sitting next to his moderately drunk self. And he’s always had a hard time when it comes to emotions and now he has metaphorically dug his own grave since he was the one to bring up said emotions in the first place.

But Soonyoung is still giving him that slightly pained expression and Jihoon feels for him. Knows that he would probably have acted the same way if it had been Soonyoung who had even slightly doubted the bond between them as something they can’t label as ‘close’.

So instead of trying to use words that Jihoon knows would have just ultimately failed him, he tosses his free arm over Soonyoung’s shoulder, just so he can give him the best Bro Hug he could muster.

But of course, when alcohol is in the equation, nothing really ever goes as planned, if this whole interaction had been anything to go by.

So instead of Soonyoung neatly sliding closer on the worn cushion of the booth like Jihoon had planned on him doing, his ass stays firmly in place. This leads to Soonyoung’s head completely missing Jihoon’s shoulder, instead his face nestles right onto Jihoon’s chest.

Both freeze, caught off guard and unsure of what to do with the situation. Jihoon can feel Soonyoung’s nose digging into his sternum, but neither boy makes an attempt to right the wrong.

Jihoon is the first to break the silence.

“I’m so sorry, this was an accident.”

Jihoon can’t help but flush a bit when he feels a puff of hot breath through the thin fabric of his shirt when Soonyoung laughs.

“It’s all right,” Soonyoung lifts a hand to pat at Jihoon’s chest, “but could you let me up? I’m starting to suffocate a bit,” speaks Soonyoung in a muffled voice.

Jihoon rips his hand away from where he had been holding Soonyoung’s body to himself. His face is now a flame and he feels the heat all the way to the tips of his ears. Stupid drunk mind and stupid drunk body...

One glance at Jihoon and Soonyoung is back to his normal cheery self, letting out an unabashed laugh at just how embarrassed Jihoon looks.

“Don’t worry about it!” Soonyoung pats Jihoon’s chest again, but this time in a much more appreciative manner. “Could use a few hours at the gym though, if I’m going to be picky about it.”

Jihoon slaps his hand away.

“Fuck off,” says Jihoon, with no real bite to his words as he punctuates it with a smile.

It is when Soonyoung is finishing off the last remains of what must now be lukewarm soju that Jihoon turns to him and asks, “You know what I mean though, right?”

Soonyoung puts his bottle down with a heavy clunk before proceeding to send Jihoon one of his 100-watt smiles, cute round cheeks included.

“Of course I do.”

 

\---♡---

 

It’s been a few weeks since Soonyoung had placed his mystery box onto Jihoon’s desk.

The wood is starting to shine from the oils that have rubbed off of Jihoon’s fingers and onto the box with how often he rotated it in his hands. It became a sort of habit, grown from the fact that for the first week or so after the box found a home on his desk, Jihoon would pick it up and turn it in his hands, trying to feel if there really was something inside the box.

It only took a week or so more until it became a habit, something he found in his hands if he had a long email to read or when a phone call would run on longer than just the first few minutes.

The mystery that was The Box only grew exponentially when Soonyoung showed up the day after gifting it with his usual bright smile and greeting, holding a tiny key in hand.

Jihoon’s surprise was quickly cut short when instead of handing over the key, Soonyoung then proceeded to grab the box and then duck out of Jihoon’s cubicle and hide behind the wall, his back turned and box tucked deep into himself so that Jihoon could only watch Soonyoung’s back when he peeked his head out the side of his cubicle.

And just as fast as it had appeared, the key had returned to the depths of Soonyoung’s pockets, the only evidence that it had even made an appearance in the first place was the bright smile on Soonyoung’s face and the box held lightly in his grasp.

“What?” was all Jihoon could get himself to say, his confusion severely affecting his ability to create coherent sentences.

“It’s a part of the gift!” announced Soonyoung before leaning over to return the box back to its designated spot.

“Could you explain a bit more in detail?” asked Jihoon, body and mind still tired from the night before that was full of emotions and alcohol. He wasn’t mentally prepared for such a thing so early in the morning.

“Nope! Like I said, it’s a surprise,” said Soonyoung with accenting jazz hands, smile bright enough that Jihoon had to squint to protect his eyes.

Jihoon studied Soonyoung’s face for a few more seconds before he could feel his will to resist dissipate, confirming the rumors that there really wasn’t anything Soonyoung couldn’t get away if he smiled wide enough.

“You promise I’ll find out eventually?” asked Jihoon, as he settled a little more into his seat, gearing up for the long sit ahead of him for his work day.

It was quiet for a few seconds and Jihoon looked back at Soonyoung, caught off guard by the sullen look he found. His shoulders were drooped and his body language suddenly demure in posture.

“Yeah,” sighed out Soonyoung, throwing Jihoon through a loop at the sudden change in attitude. “Of course, eventually. I Promise.”

Soonyoung then reached out his pinky, face a neutral blank. Jihoon was too stunned to even think about denying his silent request, instead just reaching out his own pinky, keeping his eyes locked with Soonyoung’s as their fingers intertwined.

They both nodded a final confirmation before their hands fell away, Soonyoung’s hand thudding softly against his side.

“A promise then,” voiced Jihoon to Soonyoung’s retreating back.

 

\---♡---

 

The two of them end up at the usual bar about two months after The Box had made its home onto Jihoon’s work desk, bringing with it an added topic of interest for the two to talk about.

At first, Jihoon tries to be patient, knowing that Soonyoung was serious when he made that promise the day after The Box appeared in his life. But it has been about two months now and Jihoon is getting _curious._ There’s only so long he can hold off before he starts to bring up more prying questions about the box that he had tried to skirt around in the beginning.

The last two months have been normal in routine, except for the suddenly added feature to their routine morning talks. Every morning Soonyoung comes by, his usual coffee cup full of the shitty corporate coffee in one hand and his key already out in the other. It’s a quick ordeal, something that Jihoon no longer even pays attention to in the mornings as Soonyoung scoops the box off the desk, unlocks it around the corner of Jihoon’s cubicle, and returns it just in time for Soonyoung to greet Jihoon properly.

At first, Jihoon tries to keep the curious and pointed looks off his face. He even spends a week where he totally ignores the fact that the action had even taken place since all Jihoon ever gets in response to his pointed looks are pointed looks right back, a silent reminder to The Promise. But it has been about two months and Jihoon is getting over it, promise be damned. What kind of gift takes over two months to give anyways?

So, for the last week, Jihoon starts asking innocent side questions to Soonyoung’s back as he fumbles with the box. Things like, ‘It’s been getting heavier, I can tell, just what are you putting in there?’, ‘Do you usually keep the key on you or do you leave it somewhere?’, or even, ‘You’d really hate me if I just smashed it, wouldn’t you?’

All questions and inquiries are deflected like the pro Soonyoung is, and Jihoon has yet to get anything substantial out of any of the questions asked. In the last two days, the only answer he can even get out of Soonyoung when regarding The Box is small hums, acknowledging that he heard Jihoon but no longer willing to put thought into any sort of answer.

It’s driving Jihoon up the wall with curiosity. So much so that when Junhui makes a rare but not totally unwanted visit by Jihoon’s cubicle in the middle of a work day to ask, “So, when are you going to get around to asking out Soonyoung?” is when he’s reminded of his mental dilemma of _Soonyoung._

Is it even possible to be so preoccupied with an individual to completely forget that you are having a mild crisis over _said_ individual and what feelings are happening in regards to them? Apparently, with Soonyoung it is a thing.

Which brings Jihoon finally back to the present. It’s a Friday night, meaning it’s once again Jihoon’s and Soonyoung’s unofficial drinking night.

It isn’t like the pair don't already drink enough to cause worry to both their mothers and to their doctors if they were actually privy to the amount they consumed on a regular basis. But Friday nights were The Night.

The night that they save their money for. The night that had started this whole drinking together on a regular basis thing in the first place. The night that they throw caution to the wind and allow a night of heavy drinking, knowing they would be free to nurse their hungover asses back to health the next day without worry.

Even if the both of them are swamped at work and too tired to actually do anything besides trudge home and fall asleep for the whole week beforehand, they would still go out on Friday night.

They’re seated at their usual table, in their usual booth, and have already gone through five shared sojus and a shot of something that Soonyoung had whispered into the waitress’s ear that is somehow simultaneously cool but burns on the way down Jihoon’s throat.

They are well onto their way to sloshed, and this time they had both started and kept pace with each other. So Jihoon _really_ can’t blame himself that when a lull in the conversation happens, his mind steers back in the direction of the gift Soonyoung decided to burden Jihoon with.

So Jihoon leans in to whisper into Soonyoung’s ear after he glances around the moderately full bar. They aren’t alone, per say, recognizable co-workers are all around them, and Jihoon even catches the quirked eyebrow of Junhui from a barstool a few feet away when he does his initial search to see if anyone is paying particularly close attention to the two of them.

“So, about that key,” starts Jihoon, trying to sound as casual as you can get with five shared bottles of soju and a shot of liquid fire under his belt. Tries to sound as casual as you can with Junhui still looking over at him, a knowing smile on his lips. Though, Jihoon doesn’t know just _what_ Junhui thought he knew, since he’s kept the box and its mysterious contents a secret to everyone at work.

Jihoon doesn’t like the look, it makes Junhui’s words burn at the forefront of his mind, something Jihoon tried to take with a grain of salt since Junhui was full of bullshit and everyone in the company knows that, so why would Jihoon start to take anything he said seriously now?

But it doesn’t keep Jihoon from leaning away just enough that Soonyoung’s face isn’t so close that he has to cross his eyes awkwardly just to get a good look at his face.

Soonyoung’s sending him a particularly peeved look, looking just as unwilling to talk about The Box and The Key as he has been, but suddenly Jihoon can’t even focus on the pinch of skin in between Soonyoung’s eyebrows or the annoyed huff Soonyoung lets out, because his lips are glossy and his eyes are sparkling in the low lighting of the bulbs above and Jihoon suddenly can’t focus on anything else.

Soonyoung has always been beautiful, hasn’t he? He’s mostly a ball of smiles and cheeks and white glimmering teeth, but Jihoon has seen the times where Soonyoung’s beautiful because of the furrow in between his eyebrows, eyes serious as he tries to meet a deadline in time. How beautiful Soonyoung is with his hair mused into disarray because of his bad habit of stress ruffling. The beauty that is Soonyoung with his tongue peeking out in concentration as he tries to pour Jihoon a drink the night Jihoon starts to have all these weird thoughts and feelings.

Soonyoung’s beautiful no matter what facial expression he decides to put on his face.

Even now, the look Soonyoung’s giving Jihoon is beautiful, even though every expression he makes is slanted a bit thanks to the alcohol slipping everything a bit to the side. And Jihoon has always had a hard time keeping his hands off anything that catches his interest, so he leans back in (Junhui—who was sitting only ten feet away, sipping his bubbly clear drink out of two small straws like an asshole—be damned) and reaches out to rest his hand on Soonyoung’s trim waist.

“The key?” asks back Soonyoung, his voice a slightly higher pitch than his day to day voice. “Oh, fuck—you fucker, you’re trying to get my key, aren’t you?” accuses Soonyoung as he twists in his seat, grabbing a hold of his jacket pocket, shielding the entrance away from any prying hands.

Jihoon’s eyes slide down and his mind slowly puts together the facts that Soonyoung had just handed him. “The key’s in your pocket? Like, right now?”

“Yeah! But you can’t have it, we had a deal!” spouts Soonyoung as he twists his torso away, shielding his pocket as best he could.

And, to reiterate, Jihoon has always had a hard time keeping his hands off things he finds interest in. His mom’s old shiny necklace that she scolding him for taking without permission. His neighbor's fluffy cat that would greet him at the door sometimes if she had been allowed out of the apartment for the day. The box that has taken residence on Jihoon’s work desk.

And now Jihoon is reaching over, arms slow like they are being held back with molasses while Soonyoung cowers away with a playful smile expertly hidden behind his raised shoulder. Jihoon’s hands first grip Soonyoung’s waist, even more noticeably small in between two of Jihoon’s hands instead of just the one from earlier.

Jihoon’s lip twitch when he feels the muscles under his hands flex as Soonyoung reacts to the grip, curling a bit into himself all the more when Jihoon finally flexes his own fingers, pulling Soonyoung closer. Without warning, Jihoon digs his fingers in hard, forcing out a startled yelp from Soonyoung, which then morphs into pained laughs as Jihoon tickles Soonyoung into submission.

“Okay! Okay! Mercy!” gasps out Soonyoung, his voice a little too loud for the level taken up in the building. “You can look at it, but that’s it! No more, no less.”

Jihoon blinks a bit through the daze over his eyes. Oh yeah, the key. That was why he was tickling Soonyoung, right?

Soonyoung then proceeds to present The Key. It is a small thing, not very shiny as it is smudged too much by fingerprints and scuffs. It doesn’t look worn, but it definitely isn’t new anymore.

Jihoon reaches out, but Soonyoung flinches the key away from Jihoon’s outstretched hand.

“I said only look!” reprimands Soonyoung over Jihoon’s snort.

“You’re well aware that when someone says they want to see something, they actually want to touch it.”

Soonyoung gives Jihoon’s a skeptical look. Jihoon just places his hands out on the table, palms up, sending Soonyoung the widest smile he can muster.

Soonyoung blinks a few times, looking astonished at Jihoon’s actions before seeming to realize himself. He grumbles a bit under his breath, something that Jihoon hasn’t been able to catch, but Soonyoung is then returning the key to view, so Jihoon quickly forgets to be curious about what he had said.

Jihoon feels the warmed key fall into his palm and he clenches his hand, his smile turning into a gleeful one.

He turns it over in his hand a bit, happy to finally have the object of his mental turmoil in his hands.

Jihoon can see Soonyoung watching him study the key out of the corner of his eyes as he turns the key over a few extra times, just for good measure.

“Is it really that interesting?” speaks up Soonyoung after about a minute of quiet between the two.

“No,” Jihoon slides the key back over to Soonyoung’s side of the table, “But I just wanted to annoy you a bit.”

Soonyoung huffs again before returning the key to the safety of his pocket.

Jihoon reaches over to pour himself another drink, letting the slightly warming soju slide down his throat. Soonyoung pouts a bit to his side, so Jihoon pours one out for him too with a small laugh.

It’s when Jihoon’s returning the bottle to the table that he sees it. A small piece of fluff stuck to a condensation ring on the table.

Without thinking, Jihoon reaches over to pluck it off the table.

“What’s that?” asks Soonyoung as he puts down his recently emptied shot glass.

“Don’t you think it’s gross?” asks Jihoon in return, disregarding Soonyoung’s question, “Like, this could be a normal piece of fluff. Flown here to our table out of pure conscience. Or it could be something _someone grew from their body,_ ” ends Jihoon, face scrunching up.

“Gross?” Soonyoung reaches over to take the fluff from Jihoon’s fingers, “I don’t think so.”

Jihoon lays his head down, his cheek finding stability against the tabletop as he watches Soonyoung, something in the spectrum of wistful and longing in his eyes as he studies the fluff.

“No?” questions Jihoon.

“Nah,” confirms Soonyoung as he flicks the piece off the tip of his finger for it to innocently float to the ground to be forgotten.

Jihoon continues to watch Soonyoung from his newly found resting spot, his drinking partner busying himself with something on his cellphone, any further conversation on the subject apparently dropped.

As he lie there, he can’t help but wonder if he can blame the alcohol for why everything except Soonyoung seems to rotate on its axis or if it is because of his sudden ability to see past Soonyoung’s cheerful front to the deeply inlaid sadness that’s held at the core of his eyes.

 

\---♡---

 

Soonyoung seems a little more depressed nowadays.

Jihoon can’t seem to remedy it either, not even when he actively tries to make Soonyoung smile. There would be a small tug at the corners of Soonyoung’s mouth, but it looks much more like an obligatory reaction than anything real, almost like appreciates the effort on Jihoon’s part but can’t truly bring himself to full-on smile.

As the days tick by, Soonyoung has been finding reasons to excuse himself from any weekly drinking night. It doesn’t settle well in Jihoon's stomach, but at least Soonyoung’s still keeping up their Friday night tradition.

But like clockwork, he continues to pick up and add something to Jihoon’s box without fail. But nowadays Soonyoung’s shoulders sag a little more each time he returns the box to its place next to Jihoon’s monitor.

Jihoon almost doesn’t want to ask, but he needs to.

“When will you let me see what’s in the box?”

But this time around, Jihoon receives a different answer.

“Don’t worry, it won’t be too much longer now.”

 

\---♡---

 

Tonight’s a Tuesday night and Jihoon finds himself in a very familiar environment but with a very unfamiliar twist added.

He makes the memorized trek from the work office to his bar, as per usual, but this time, his company is almost mockingly different.

“So,” begins Junhui, seated in a barstool just to the right of Jihoon, taking a quick sip out of the two straws in his drink, “did you forget to get him an anniversary gift or something?”

Why in the world Jihoon had thought that taking up Junhui’s offer to ‘talk it out’ after noticing his slightly off attitude at work is beyond him. Why he’s sitting in his familiar bar but in a very unfamiliar seat is even more beyond him. But the fact that Jihoon had taken up the offer _and_ confided in Junhui of all people is almost out of this realm of believability.

But here he is, butt bordering on asleep against the stiff wood of the barstool instead of in the comfortably worn cushion of his and Soonyoung’s regular booth. He eyes Junhui’s drink of choice as he brings his own bottle of beer to his lips, obviously judging Junhui’s choice of poison.

“I need something a little harder,” is Junhui’s easy reply to Jihoon’s look as some of the bubbly pink concoction disappears down his straws.

So Jihoon just sighs, not willing to even fight that statement since he is getting the faint traces of alcohol on Junhui’s breath even from his seat.  

“We aren’t dating,” finally defends Jihoon, his shoulders drooped. He really doesn’t have any will to fight this battle either, since Soonyoung’s sudden mood dip as of the last month is equally mirroring into his own life and routine. Which is the main reason why he’s here with Junhui, trying to talk it out and maybe finally understand as to why the boy seems to have been getting sadder as the days passed, Jihoon practically helpless to stop it. Things had gone from bad to worse in such a short period of time, not only is Soonyoung’s mood deteriorating, he’s now finding excuses to no longer meet up for their usual Friday night drinking.

His hope of Junhui somehow helping him figure out a reason behind Soonyoung’s mood and behavior is quickly going downhill, but at least the beer in his hands is on Junhui’s tab. He takes a big gulp at the thought, just in case he has to leave prematurely. He doesn’t want to ever waste a free beer.

“Are you sure?” questions Junhui after a particularly long sip out of his own drink.

“Of _course_ I’m sure. I would like to think I have my life put together enough that I would realize if I was in a relationship or not,” grumbles out Jihoon, annoyed that he still has to humor the direction this conversation had taken.

A low hum permeates the air around them as Junhui sits down his freshly emptied glass. “Do you want to be?”

Taking a drink in that moment had been a bad choice on his part, (as was even coming here, but Jihoon was way past the point of return) and Jihoon finds himself sputtering and coughing a few times, finally able to get the bitter beer past his throat and down the right tube.

“Can we get back on track? We are talking about how _Soonyoung_ might be _depressed_ ,” hisses out Jihoon, anger coloring his words. How could Jihoon let Soonyoung slip into such a state, right under his nose while he’s basically helpless to stop it? It doesn’t help that Jihoon’s already bad with his own emotions, so not having the capacity to even help Soonyoung work his way through this slump angers Jihoon even more.

“Sure, sure,” dismisses Junhui flippantly as he tries to get the attention of the bartender behind the bar, “I would like to think I was still on topic, but if you want to play it that way..,” drifts off Junhui, interrupting himself to cheerfully ask the waitress for another round of drinks for them, a beer for Jihoon and ‘his usual’ for himself.

Jihoon isn’t nearly as drunk has he would need to be to even begin to process what Junhui’s insinuating. (Or maybe he’s just too sober to want to dwell on it.) Either way, that part of the conversation was behind them as Jihoon chugs the rest of his beer so that he can start on his new bottle when the bartender returns.

The sounds of the bar are a dull roar in the background as the two sit in silence, sipping at their new drinks in silence.

“Well,” finally speaks up Junhui, “have you _asked_ him why he’s been sad?”

Jihoon takes a little time to enjoy the stick of beer on his tongue before answering.

“Not, like, _directly_ ,” admits Jihoon.

Junhui’s stare is heavy on Jihoon’s cheek but he refuses to move his eyes from the condensation on his bottle, playing with the small droplets that sit on the glass.

A deep sigh from Junhui and Jihoon finally allows himself to look up, surprised to see that Junhui is looking back at his own glass.

“How about this,” starts Junhui, “and I don’t want you to avoid it like all the other times. Take it seriously and it might help you realize why Soonyoung is sad right now.”

Jihoon purses his lips. He’s never been one to sign up for something with open ends, agree to something without knowing fully what he’s getting into. But Junhui had finally let his usual playful tone drop which means that he is finally taking this conversation seriously.

And if Junhui thinks that this might actually help, who was Jihoon to say no? At this point, he’s too desperate to understand what had happened to say no to Junhui’s simple request.

So he licks sticky spit onto his lips before answering. “Yeah, I’m listening.”

“Have you thought about just _why_ you’re so affected by Soonyoung’s mood?”

Before Jihoon can even start to think on that question, Junhui continues.

“Because I’m going to be honest with you. I came up and asked you out for a drink because I saw that _you_ have been down in the dumps for a while. But Soonyoung? He’s been his normal chipper self, at least around me. Either the boy is really good at faking it or you’re just hypersensitive to his mood which could really mean a lot of things depending which one it is,” finally finishes Junhui, taking a congratulatory sip of his drink, obviously proud of himself and the information he got to drop onto Jihoon.

Jihoon purses his lips. Was what Junhui saying really true? Of course, Jihoon would probably never be able to actually find out for sure, but if he was to take Junhui’s words as truth, maybe there really is a lot of things Jihoon really needs to start thinking about.

Like how Junhui can apparently stomach his weird bubbly drink since Jihoon quickly snatches the glass off the bar to take a quick gulp, Junhui’s indigent cry be damned. Jihoon _really_ isn’t good with dealing with emotions, but he can deal with alcohol, and he suddenly has the curiosity and will to see if Junhui had been bullshitting when he said his fluff of a drink really isn’t something to sneer at.

“What the hell is even in that? Moonshine?” asks Jihoon as he smacks his mouth a few times. His sticky beer from earlier really doesn’t mix well with the idea of clearing one's mouth of a horrible taste.

“Nah, just vodka. But you and your lightweight beer and soju tendencies probably make it seem like something crazy.”

 

\---♡---

 

It’s the end of their work week, and somehow Jihoon and Soonyoung end up in their usual spots at their usual bar. It might have had something to do with Jihoon practically begging Soonyoung to come out since it had been a while, but Jihoon isn’t too fond of that memory.

But the sadness in Soonyoung’s eyes has been pulling at Jihoon’s heart strings too tightly, and this’s literally the only thing he can think of doing that might somehow banish that look off of Soonyoung’s face.

The waitress comes and greets them cheerfully, their usual Friday night waitress happy to see her regulars and asks if they want a soju to share like usual. Jihoon makes an extra request for whatever Junhui usually drinks to their order.

Luckily, the waitress seems to know exactly what that is, because Jihoon sure as hell doesn’t, and she’s back behind the bar just as quickly as she had arrived.

“You’ve been hanging out with Junhui?” asks Soonyoung, his tone mainly flat but Jihoon had been able to pick up on the small tweak of something off-putting throughout it.

The waitress, as timely as she always is, returns with a soju bottle, two shot glasses, and Junhui’s strange pink drink. Jihoon can’t help but swallow his down as fast as possible. Jihoon really wants to bitterly reply with, ‘Well, I wouldn’t have to if you hadn’t started avoiding me’ but even he knows that filling his mouth with Junhui’s disgusting drink is the better alternative.

“No, not really. He’s fine, but only if I get a lot of time in between,” answers Jihoon only after he finally clears the worst of it down his throat and he no longer feels like he drank poison. (He isn’t thoroughly convinced that he hasn’t.)

“Whoa,” breathes out Soonyoung, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, “What’s the rush? I’m here, aren’t I? I don’t plan on ditching out early,” Soonyoung reaches over to look at the ice cubes at the bottom of Jihoon’s emptied glass before sniffing into it. “Holy, no wonder it looked like you were dying.”

Jihoon feels something deep in his stomach as he watches Soonyoung smile over at him, his mood playful. It churns a bit dangerously and he has to purse his lips before taking a deep breath through his nose, convincing his body that _no_ , he isn’t about to allow the reappearance of his quickly downed drink.

The two continue with their night, both seemingly on the same page in regards to acting like the last month of demure attitudes and avoided plans hadn’t happened. It is a good hour in and Jihoon just realizes that Soonyoung had somehow outpaced him even with his shot of vodka.

And now Soonyoung’s looking at Jihoon strangely. His expression holds something deep in it, something that means more than what the calm eyes and straight mouth had to offer.

Jihoon can’t quite tell what the look’s about and he really doesn’t want to find out. So he sucks a breath and allows the alcohol he ingested to take over any kind of inhibitors his sober mind usually throws up in preparation to finally ask point blank what has been eating at Soonyoung.

But he isn’t quite quick enough, Soonyoung speaking up before he could.

“Do you want the key? Today was the last day.”

At first, Jihoon just blinks at Soonyoung. The key? Why in the hell is Soonyoung bringing up the key when Jihoon had finally gotten over it? When Jihoon’s working so hard to bring up Soonyoung’s mood? Why now of all times does Soonyoung decide to bring up the damned key on his own accord?

And then Jihoon blinks once more and he can feel heat grow in his stomach to then pulsate out into his skin and eyes, diluting his vision with anger.

He isn't quite sure why he’s suddenly so angry. Maybe it’s all the pent up self-frustration with how horrible of a friend he is. Maybe it’s because the day that box had shown up on his desk, everything had started to change between them.

So, fuck the key. Fuck the day Soonyoung had shown up with his radiant smile and silver key and wooden box. Everything had changed once that goddamn present had shown up in Jihoon’s life.

Before, he had the Soonyoung he knew. The bright, happy Soonyoung to look forward to in the mornings to wake him up more than any coffee shop drink could do. He had the Soonyoung who would practically drag him out of his cubicle on some nights just to make sure Jihoon did something more with his day besides work and sleep.

But now. Now Jihoon has a Soonyoung whose eyes are dull and avoids any time spent with him other than his morning routine of messing with that fucking box.

Now, Jihoon’s high on emotions that are only amplified by the alcohol in his system and all he wants is for Soonyoung to be happy, but here he is bringing up the one thing Jihoon knows makes Soonyoung upset so _fuck that key._

“I don’t want the damn key, I just want you to be happy,” hisses out Jihoon, able to keep most of the bubbling well of emotions in check and out of his voice. Even through the fog, he still doesn’t want to do anything that might upset Soonyoung.

“But I am happy,” counters Soonyoung, none the wiser to Jihoon’s anger, “See?”

Soonyoung then turns to Jihoon with a wide grin, even pointing at his smile as if Jihoon can’t realize on his own what Soonyoung was trying to show him.

“If that wasn’t the fucking most sorry ass excuse of a smile I’ve ever seen,” spits Jihoon, failing to keep eye contact with the boy. What does Soonyoung take him for? It’s like Soonyoung doesn’t realize that Jihoon can see though every fake wall of happiness Soonyoung had put up in the last month.

“Come on Jihoon, don’t be like that..” Soonyoung’s voice comes off more annoyed than defeated, probably unsure of what to do in the face of Jihoon's sudden anger.

But to Jihoon, all it sounds like is that his emotions are burdening Soonyoung. How can Soonyoung not see how much of a burden Jihoon had been taking to pamper Soonyoung’s own?

“Don’t be like what?” Jihoon nearly snarls, fist clenching into the fabric of his jeans. How can Soonyoung not see all that Jihoon has done and was doing to help him? His anger is getting harder and harder to keep in check at every word out of Soonyoung’s mouth.

Sure, he’s only just now able to gather the courage to actually ask Soonyoung what’s actually wrong, but no one can really blame him for trying a more passive approach at first when in the back of his mind for the last month, Jihoon couldn’t help but think that _he_ was the problem.

“Just—” Soonyoung cuts himself off to take a calming breath, “take the key or all of this would have been pointless,” says Soonyoung, hand deep in his pocket as he takes a few second in his compromised state to finally locate the key in his pocket before pulling it out and holding it out in front of himself.

“It _is_ pointless!” nearly yells Jihoon as he slaps the key out of his face, causing it to fly out of Soonyoung’s hand and slide off to some corner of the bar.

It’s then that Jihoon realizes that they must be somewhat of a spectacle. It isn’t like everyone in the bar is privy to what’s happening in their small secluded corner, but when Jihoon does a quick scan he makes eye contact with way too many strangers than was comfortable.

But their quickly growing audience is the last thing on Jihoon’s mind when he finally turns back to Soonyoung.

His eyes are downcast, the bangs of his hair covering most of his face from Jihoon’s view. But even through the veil of tipsiness, Jihoon reads the dark atmosphere around the boy. Can see the slight shake of his shoulders and the barely contained emotional breakdown. Can see the small drops of water that soak into Soonyoung’s work shirt, even though he had missed them falling when he was distracted.

It’s then that Jihoon realizes he hadn’t done enough, hadn’t acted soon enough. Had he have gotten over himself earlier on, had tried to help Soonyoung in a better way, none of this would be happening. But it’s only now that Jihoon realizes he has made a grave mistake somewhere along the way since Soonyoung looks ready to explode.

“Don’t you _dare_ say that my feelings are pointless, Lee Jihoon,” nearly growls Soonyoung, voice low and barely contained. There’s venom in every syllable and when he finally looks up, there’s nothing but disdain and Jihoon’s own wide eyes reflecting in Soonyoung's eyes.

Jihoon can't quite comprehend how refusing the key is refusing Soonyoung's feeling at the moment but for some god forsaken reason, Jihoon’s suddenly reminded of when he first met Soonyoung. When he was nothing but a stranger and a loner at work but somehow, for some reason, Soonyoung had gone above and beyond to befriend him.

Jihoon dwells on it far too often. Wonders how different his life would be if Soonyoung had never taken the time to crack Jihoon’s heavy defenses. He knows his life would be dull and monochrome without Soonyoung being there to color all the corners of Jihoon’s bland existence.

And this is the furthest Jihoon has ever felt from Soonyoung, even more so than when he didn’t know him. His heart clenches tightly, squeezing all the fear and anxiety it could out to flood Jihoon’s body before kicking into hyperdrive.

The one thing worse than realizing that he might have forever stayed a stranger to Soonyoung is the idea that Soonyoung _hates_ him. And somehow, without Jihoon even understand how or why his worst fears are being recognized before his eyes.

He needs to fix this. He _really_ needs to fix this. Soonyoung’s slipping through his fingers and he isn’t quite sure if the problem is because he was squeezing too hard or is his grip wasn’t tight enough, but he has to do _something._

“What I mean is,” backtracks Jihoon, all too aware that whatever direction he has been going with the key and its pointlessness isn’t the path he needed to be taking. He needs to swallow his pride and delve somewhere he hasn’t quite been to yet. “It’s pointless right _now_ since I’m worried about _you_. Why have you been avoiding me? Why are you only sad around me?”

Soonyoung seems to take a mental step back at that. Maybe he too realizes they are making a scene. Maybe it’s because he can see the emotions that Jihoon fears are in plain sight on his face. All he knows is that this fight made him realize that he’s so _afraid_ of losing Soonyoung. He must have been afraid all along though, and it must be the reason why he’s so sensitive to Soonyoung’s sudden behavior change over the last month.

Soonyoung looks away then, his lower lip quivering a bit if Jihoon’s eyes aren’t deceiving him.

“I just can’t take it anymore,” whispers Soonyoung. Jihoon almost misses it, and he has half the thought that he wish he had, but Soonyoung’s continuing before that thought can seep too deeply.

“I thought that after all this time, that maybe…,” Soonyoung trails off before shaking his head a bit. “There was a moment, a while ago, that I came up with an amazing plan. That at the end of it, if nothing had changed, that would be my sign to just,” Soonyoung chokes off a bit here, voice hoarse with unsheathed tears, “Let it go. Let you go.”

Jihoon doesn’t understand any of the words that are coming out of Soonyoung’s mouth, but he isn’t giving Jihoon time to process them before continuing.

“Thinking back now, it was a really dumb plan. Using that box as a sort of countdown. Having to mess with it every day and have my heart slowly tear apart each time I had to open it... It was a lot to bare, Jihoon. I made the decision that if nothing changed by the time I finished putting everything I needed into that box, that I would let you go. The last month really wore on me, and I’m sorry if I made it obvious. But like I said, today’s the day. My countdown has ended and there’s nothing more I can do.”

“I don’t understand, Soonyoung. What countdown? Countdown to what?”

Jihoon’s starting to feel desperate. The words Soonyoung are saying are flowing into his ears and to his mind, but then they slip right on out the other side of his head. What on earth is Soonyoung getting at? All Jihoon knows is that Soonyoung is slowly curling into himself as the words leave his mouth and he is getting farther and farther from Jihoon’s reach, even though in reality they are both still sitting at the same distance that they have been for a long time, in their usual booth in their usual bar.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Jihoon,” Soonyoung continues as if his words hadn’t just punched the air out of Jihoon’s lungs, “I’m sorry but I’m sure you’ll understand on Monday when you open the box.”

“No,” finally speaks up Jihoon, trying to convey just how much he can't allow that to happen. Soonyoung is his color. Soonyoung is his sunshine in the morning and his comfort at the end of the day. Without thinking, Jihoon reaches out to grab at Soonyoung’s wrist.

There’s a trench in between them that has been growing for the last month, but suddenly, Jihoon feels like he has stepped one step too far and now he’s plummeting. He has never been so far from Soonyoung in his life. “I can’t accept this.”

He can’t lose Soonyoung, he loves him too much.

Suddenly, a loud pop erupts and Jihoon feels like he’s throwing up, except there’s nothing coming out of his throat or mouth. Instead of his stomach emptying, his chest now feels much lighter. So much lighter than it had been in a long time.

It takes a few seconds to find his bearings, the fear that he had just suddenly thrown up on Soonyoung subsides when he finally sees the rain of shiny green confetti falling down to shower the both of them.

Jihoon reaches up to feel for the hole in his chest, but it’s already closed up. The only evidence of what had just happened is now settling into the small nooks and crannies around the pair. But damn, there sure is a lot of evidence.

The world pauses around them after all the confetti settles. Either that or Jihoon had stopped paying attention to the outside world that isn’t exclusive to Soonyoung and his beautiful face full of awe and surprise.

“Oh my god,” breathes the both of them, in sync with each other. They’re both frozen in place for a few heartbeats, but Soonyoung finds his bearing before Jihoon could.

“Do you love me, Jihoon?” breathes Soonyoung, voice small and eyes sparkling.

And Jihoon must have been hiding from too much, hadn’t paid close enough attention. Because how could he have missed something that’s so obvious now that he knows? Jihoon's voice may be wavering and his lips might be quivering when he says it, but he knows his words are nothing but truth.

“I think I have for a while now.”

Soonyoung reaches forward to grab Jihoon's face in between his hands, thumbs immediately starting to rubbing just under his eyes.

“I can't believe,” Soonyoung sounds like he is in awe, but Jihoon is right there with him. “You can be so _dumb_. But, Jihoon, I love you for that.”

Jihoon's heart clenches and it almost feels like he’s going to pop again, but the feeling fizzles out into something akin to an electrical curent, pulsing and alive with the knowledge that Soonyoung loves him back. Soonyoung then lets go of his face to turn his attention to their table.

“....What are you doing?” asks Jihoon.

Soonyoung looks up with a smile so big, it causes his cheeks to puff up big, blocking out his eyes.

“I gotta collect as much as I can, I need proof that this actually happened.”

Jihoon can’t help but smile a bit too fondly for his liking as Soonyoung scoops all the green confetti off the table and into his pockets. Their fight from before is long forgotten, both so suddenly caught up in what had just been presented to them.

It’s when Soonyoung goes to lean out of the booth to collect the stray pieces that fell to the floor that he pulls at Soonyoung’s arm to get him to come back.

The fact he loves Soonyoung is a conclusion almost so obvious that Jihoon had missed it completely. But now that it’s staring Jihoon in the face, now that his love for Soonyoung had literally rained down on them, there’s nothing more for him to realize. No fight to dwell on and Jihoon’s pretty sure he now knows exactly why Soonyoung had been distancing himself and as to what exactly is inside his mystery box.

He loves Soonyoung and he has no idea how long he had, but he isn’t about waste any more time on the past when he has the present.

Jihoon barely registers the confused look on Soonyoung’s face just as he closes the distance between them, eyes closed as he tastes the gasp that Soonyoung emit.

The kiss is light and chaste and he pulls away after only a second or two but leans his forehead forward so that their bangs intertwine in between them.

“You don’t need that for proof since I’m right here to give that to you.”

 

\---♡---

 

Come Monday morning, Jihoon’s greeted to the sight of his box, now opened with the lock sitting off to the side of the desk. The inside is overflowing with small pink heart-shaped tissue paper mixed with small shiny green confetti pieces. The amount of hearts far outnumbers the confetti pieces.

Jihoon can’t contain his smile as he drops his jacket onto the back of his desk chair before walking forward to kick under his desk, a responding grunt in its wake.

Jihoon leans down to peer under his desk to the sight of Soonyoung holding his side, right where Jihoon’s kick had landed.

“Why in the hell are you hiding under my desk,” deadpans Jihoon, trying to keep his knee-jerk reaction to smile off his face for the sake of his acting.

Soonyoung easily unearths himself from underneath, picking up Jihoon into his arms on his way out to stand up fully. Jihoon fights valiantly to get out of his clutches until he feels Soonyoung bury his face into Jihoon’s neck, slowly bending to allow Jihoon’s feet to touch the floor again but keeping him deeply tucked to his body.

“I just wanted to see what your reaction was when you saw that the confetti that came out my love for you was little pink hearts.”

Jihoon pulls back to smack Soonyoung on the back of his head but stops mid-swing. He can't bring himself to ruin the moment when he catches the familiar sight of round cheeks and a wide grin.

Jihoon has only just realized that the all too familiar sight had been conveying Soonyoung’s love for him on a daily basis, but he’s determined to no longer take Soonyoung’s round cheeks and love for granted.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading I hope you at least enjoyed it a little bit! <3
> 
> (Edit: I forgot that I should probably self-promo myself or something,,, but if you'd like, come follow me on Twitter at [NeonNitrogen](https://twitter.com/NeonNitrogen). All I really do is retweet shit, but if you're down for maybe some updates on me or future writing endevors, there's the link!)


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